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Sold $22k worth of LED landscape lights from a company called Kichler (really great lights actually) and won 2 spots on a 1 week trip to Mexico sponsored by the brand.

Figured it would be a bunch of crusty contractors, so I invited my friend (and fellow sparky) Brad to come with me.  We have so much in common with work and rarely get to see each other.

It was a blast!  Volleyball, snorkelling, work talk and relaxing.  And the best part is the food… all inclusive, of course.  Oh yeah, spin classes with Mike just about killed me and bullshitting with Richard, the unchallenged king of talking shit, lol.

But, unlike my two weeks surfing each year at Christmas where I don’t answer the phone, it was a working vacation.  And shit went south fast.  Apple synching was down for the work week and we are super dependant on it.  Timesheets and material sheets were all through Numbers.  As well, we were very slow after the holidays and my guys had very little to do but were desperate for hours.

So I spent 3-4 hrs each morning trying to solve all this from Mexico, plus get out any quotes and follow up on previously sent ones.  My guys twiddled their thumbs waiting for me to tell them what to do which is incredibly frustrating. The feeling that I might be letting them down is one of the hardest things I have to deal with but the lack of any self direction I was witnessing was troubling.

What can I change to make this work?  To have the whole thing not so dependant on me?

Slowly but surely, I am losing the ability to lie to myself.  Deep down I know that 1 month of holidays a year is not going to clear the slate.  I will just be that much further behind and will have to catch up on the work.

Ok, I got it.  All I have to do is automate my company and hire the right people to run it while I am living somewhere else… I actually believed that I could do this.  My dissatisfaction was so high at this point, I was hanging on to whatever future goal that would allow me to get through another day.  Another week.  Another month.  Then move the goalpost and keep spinning the hamster wheel. But I knew better…

So… retirement in a tropical country!  Right?  A good goal.  6 years, I will be 45 and then plan is to be making money from my contracting business and living 6 months of the year in Ecuador.  This is  a good plan!

 

The answer is no.  I struggle to sleep each night because I am working through the details of the next day, the next week, the next month, the next employee etc.  Part of my success comes from being more prepared than the other contractors.  But at what cost?  Lists, so many lists and emails and what if’s.  Enough to drive someone mad.

The first inkling came when I returned from Nicaragua.  I thought I did a great job shutting down the phone, withdrawing from the noise.  And I did.  For 2 weeks in December 2016, I relaxed, surfed and loved it…

But coming back?  The constant barrage of data and decisions the moment I landed was like a tsunami hitting me.  From nothing to 24 hrs a day of being responsible for my employees/clients and the ever present guilt about my efforts towards conquering the business world.

And I cracked.  A little bit, just a weary recognition that success by Vancouver’s terms was going to kill me.

But I did what was expected of me and doubled down.  Stepped up to my obligations to everyone else and found a way to persevere. But I came up with a plan.  Next year?  1 month of surfing, full relaxation… that was going to solve everything!